Initial commit.

alphabetter.go

@@ -0,0 +1,86 @@
+package main
+
+import (
+	"fmt"
+	"log"
+	"sort"
+)
+
+var SPELLINGS = map[rune]string{
+	'a': "ay",
+	'b': "bee",
+	'c': "see",
+	'd': "dee",
+	'e': "ee",
+	'f': "eff",
+	'g': "gee",
+	'h': "aitch",
+	'i': "eye",
+	'j': "jay",
+	'k': "kay",
+	'l': "ell",
+	'm': "emm",
+	'n': "enn",
+	'o': "oh",
+	'p': "pee",
+	'q': "cue",
+	'r': "arr",
+	's': "ess",
+	't': "tee",
+	'u': "ewe",
+	'v': "vee",
+	'w': "double ewe",
+	'x': "ecks",
+	'y': "why",
+	'z': "zee",
+}
+
+func main() {
+	alphabet := []rune{'a', 'b', 'c', 'd', 'e', 'f', 'g', 'h', 'i', 'j', 'k', 'l', 'm', 'n', 'o', 'p', 'q', 'r', 's', 't', 'u', 'v', 'w', 'x', 'y', 'z'}
+	prev := string(alphabet)
+	fmt.Println(string(prev))
+	for {
+		alphabet = sort_alphabet(alphabet)
+		if string(alphabet) == prev {
+			return
+		}
+		prev = string(alphabet)
+		fmt.Println(prev)
+	}
+}
+
+// sort the provided alphabet (a slice of runes) by spelling, using the alphabet itself
+// as the lexicographic ordering. Return the new alphabet.
+func sort_alphabet(alphabet []rune) []rune {
+	new_alphabet := make([]rune, len(alphabet))
+	copy(new_alphabet, alphabet)
+	sort.Slice(new_alphabet, func(i, j int) bool {
+		i_spelling := SPELLINGS[new_alphabet[i]]
+		j_spelling := SPELLINGS[new_alphabet[j]]
+
+		i_index := -1
+		j_index := -1
+
+		k := 0
+		for k = 0; k < len(i_spelling) && k < len(j_spelling); k++ {
+			i_index = find_index(alphabet, rune(i_spelling[k]))
+			j_index = find_index(alphabet, rune(j_spelling[k]))
+
+			if i_index != j_index {
+				break
+			}
+		}
+		return i_index < j_index
+	})
+	return new_alphabet
+}
+
+func find_index(alphabet []rune, target rune) int {
+	for i, letter := range alphabet {
+		if letter == target {
+			return i
+		}
+	}
+	log.Panicf("Tried to find a letter that doesn't exist")
+	return -1
+}

license.md

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+Copyright 2021 annabunches@gmail.com
+
+⚠️ WARNING! ⚠️
+☢️ 😱 DO NOT USE THIS PROGRAM. 😱 ☢️
+This program is not a program of honor.
+
+No highly esteemed function is executed here.
+
+What is here is dangerous and repulsive to us.
+
+The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours,
+without even the implied warranty of MERCHANTABILITY or
+FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.
+
+This program is best shunned and left unused (but it is free software,
+and you are welcome to redistribute it under certain conditions).
+😱 ☢️ DO NOT USE THIS PROGRAM. ☢️ 😱
+
+This program is licensed under the Sandia Message Public License,
+sublicense Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License.
+This may be abbreviated as sandia-wtfpl.
+You may obtain a copy of the License(s) at
+https://github.com/cdanis/sandia-public-license/blob/main/LICENSE.md and
+http://www.wtfpl.net/txt/copying/

readme.md

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+# Alphabetter - procedurally improving the alphabet
+
+Inspired by @rfglenn's [tweet](https://twitter.com/rfglenn/status/1378555751870820354?s=21) about alphabetizing the alphabet,
+Alphabetter is a shitpost that "improves" the alphabet by sorting the letters lexicographically by their canonical
+(American English) spellings.
+
+But it doesn't stop there. It then sorts the "new" alphabet by *its own* order, and then sorts THAT alphabet, iteratively, with
+the goal of finding a "steady state", that is, an alphabet that is already alphabetized. (according to its own order)
+
+This happens after only 3 iterations, yielding the "better" alphabet:
+
+```
+rahbdwyuieflmnsxcqgjkoptvz
+```
+
+## Usage
+
+If for some reason you want to run this code, just do
+
+```
+go build alphabetter.go
+```
+
+with nearly any version of golang installed. Then execute it with
+
+```
+./alphabetter
+```